Seriously?

After taking a break from sugar, I have a decent looking pot SD on the horizon, however, I don't know if I should be amused or annoyed. I had asked for his photos and he sent one normal one, and the rest were rather risque, but not nude. So ladies, should I meet him??? Do I need to get over the fact that men in general think with their other head? It seems like so many of these pot SDs are like horny teenagers but they are also the ones who are WILLING TO SPOIL ASAP. I mean, I want to be spoiled ASAP so really, shouldn't I just be amused? Maybe that one pot millionaire in the past was right, maybe I am too picky!?

A Sugar-filled Weekend

First of all, thank you ladies for the comments on my last post. Anyway, I have a couple thoughts in mind. I got pissed off this week because the majority of recent pots have been looking for booty or ONS. NO THANK YOU!!! So very annoying.

Moving on, I have a date with Gift Daddy this weekend, as well as a pot. This pot is supposedly a millionaire, at the age of 30. Yes, he is a young pot SD. This will be interesting, especially because it will be a blind date! I have no idea what he looks like. Sometimes I think that could be a good thing because I can certainly be too picky...(as I was once told from a ex. pot. millionaire SD).

There is a third who I think I will respond to. He is older but he said he will provide an allowance. I guess it can't hurt to meet up and see. He isn't rich but he said he can provide an allowance...I just don't know how much!

Sugar, My Ambivalence & the Affect on my Psyche

Ever since starting this journey, I have become obsessed. This is far from healthy behavior and it's starting to take a toll. Sure, it was fun at first, but now that it is becoming a chore. When something isn't fun anymore, what's the point?

I have decided to reconnect with Gift Daddy. I have a fun time with him so why not. See, this is where my ambivalence came into play. Actually my ambivalence seems to be affecting both my real AND sugar relations. Although I have been wanting an allowance, I have passed up may offers. The only one I wanted was from SD#1, and since he failed to provide me with one...A part of me is rethinking what it is to be a sugarbaby.

Sure, an allowance is nice and maybe I would be more open to the other offers if I was desperate. Yes, I am on the fence now since it did not work out with SD#1. Yes, I'm sure there is another SD out there who I would click with just as well, but how much wasted time, patience and aching of my psyche will I have to sacrifice? I still have goals in my life and this sugar is actually derailing me when it should be helping me.

I decided to reconnect with gift daddy today and for several reasons. He is nice, attractive and since it is NSA, hopefully my ambivalence will subside. I really don't know what my problem is with being so ambivalent...even to such relationships that have no strings. I guess it's any sort of (big) commitment I have to make, I have issues with. I have always known this but I guess it's pretty strong right now because I am in such a weird phase in my life.

With that said, I am going to enjoy my time with Gift Daddy and get used to his spoiling. I am lucky enough he is a sweet heart. I may not get an allowance, but it will feel "right" instead of feeling like I am selling a piece of my soul. I will also take a break from the websites if I do not hear from this one pot I am waiting on. There seems to be a lot out there who either just want booty ASAP or they are flakey. I already have little patience thanks to using it all up on SD#1. I will continue to go out with SD#1 on the rare occasion if he still asks. If not, I still had a good time and have to let it go.

In conclusion to my essay, if sugar is starting to wreck havoc on your wellbeing, it's not worth it. You either need to take a break, and I mean a real break and not just one day! Refocus and then continue your search. Your second option is to end it. And until then...We shall see.

Bummer

Well, I decided to just text him. It was now or never so I brought up the allowance in a lighthearted way. Unfortunately...he replied just about the same but with no clear-cut "yes" or "no". How frustrating. I guess I have to read in between the lines. It's unfortunate and I wonder if he'll even contact me again. I'm not sure what made him change his mind. I can only guess. I was so, so close...Sigh.

Accountability

This is my accountability post for me. I did a lot of thinking and realized that I need to bring up the allowance talk again next time I meet SD#1. I have a few points that I want to make to him and I am sure he will be fine with it. He said he was fine with starting at 4K a couple months ago so I don't see why anything should change; and if something did, it was that we have more trust in one another. I just need to gain the confidence, and practice my speaking points. Although e-mail would be easier to do, I don't think it would have as much credibility. With that said, this is my accountability post and I will follow through! No more excuses, I have goals to achieve.

Date with SD#1

I finally went on a date with SD#1 after not seeing him for over 2 months!!! Although there were times where I was giving up hope, I never lost faith in him. Why? Well, for starters, one of his best qualities is his consistency. He has always been consistent with his behavior, e.g. texting me, replying to my texts, etc. Past behavior is always indicative of future behavior.

Yes, I had been lightly shopping on the side for a second SD but I have been having a hard time with it. I have no problem gathering potentials, but SD#1 has certainly set the bar high: SD#1 was generous the first time we met, and to this day, he was the only one who gave me something first meeting. Secondly, he is a millionaire. He was the second millionaire I met and he overshadowed the first one because well, the first one wanted to bag me right there and then. Apparently that dude was used to desperate babies. Lastly and most importantly, chemistry! We laugh a lot together and I can poke fun at him. I also find him attractive :) Anyway, I am actually very happy with him except for the fact we are still kind of at "Pay for Play". Sigh. Will expand on it later.

Anyway, his driver picks me up at my house and I am shuttled to SD#1's house. This is my second time being there and he has a lovely place. Candles were lit. I scoped out his backyard for the first time and he has a nice pool and hot tub. We were running late and he said we were meeting some friends for dinner. WHAT!!!???? Now I wasn't upset because we weren't going to have some one on one time, but friends? I was nervous! Yes, I don't care what people think and he said the guy friends didn't care either...So I was a little worried about the women. You know how women can be! Haha.

We switch to his Rolls Royce and head over to the restaurant. I love riding in his car...It's gorgeous. He's so desensitized about his car that he always keeps saying, "It's just a car." I always catch people drooling over it. I can understand what he means...yes it's just a car...but come'on!!! It's hot. During our car ride, he was actually the one who brought up the women and how we should make up a story of how we met. Well, luckily for us, they never asked, haha. Our excuse was pretty simple--We met at a party.

So we are fashionably late and we meet his friends at the bar. Like I said, I was super nervous. I'm sure I hid it well as I am usually very confident (looking) on the outside. We get seated and the drinks start flowing before the sushi. I pretty much drank on an empty stomach but hold my liquor well. Thank god for alcohol though!!! It sure gets everyone talking, relaxed and having fun. I think I had a good rapport with his friends, and most importantly the women, ha. We all had a good time and we all got fairly intoxicated :D

We drank and ate a lot and had a grand ol' time. SD#1 told me he stopped looking on SA because he said that he found someone pretty cool to hang with! I was extremely happy to hear this and had a huge grin on my face. Since we were having a great time and this was the first time in over two months he had time to go out and have fun, I did not even want to think about bringing up the allowance. I enjoyed my time with him and his friends, and do not take his generosity for granted. He kept asking me about my plans for school and I sense that he will be becoming more generous in the near future. Ideally, I would still love to have a 4K arrangement. I guess I will play it by ear and see if or when I will be able to bring it up.

I did try to seduce him so it's not like I'm not doing my part :) Unfortunately, my ego was a little hurt as it didn't work out. lol oh well, I think we both got a little too intoxicated anyway. Overall, I had a lovely time, he enjoyed the gift I gave him, and I became 5 Benjamin's richer that night. I hope to see him soon. I made sure I busted his balls on him seeing me more. He agreed and also said he owes me shopping (Jimmy Choos!!!). I reminded him that he also owes me a trip to New York too!

Sugar Dates

Well I let Gift Daddy know that I didn't think we were a good match. He was very cool and sweet about it. Overall, he really is a nice guy and even cute, but not what I was looking for. Plus, I could see myself getting too attached.

Moving on, I got in touch with the Pot. SD I met on Tuesday and we have tentative plans to meet again next week. I will call him Mr. Sexy! I found him on Craigslist, again, which I thought I'd never do - but hey - don't knock it 'til you try it! I will bring up allowance talk as he's mentioned "physical pleasure". I do think I intimidate him - hey - whatever I can use to my advantage ;)

Last but not least, I am seeing SD#1 this weekend for sushi (and lots of sake of course :) so I am pretty excited. No shopping, which is a bummer; however, he is my Cash Daddy! Can't go wrong with cash! Hopefully he is feeling extra generous as I have not seen him in 2 months! Plus, I got him a gift that I know he'll love (or at least laugh!). Priceless.

AXED

...down to 2 in the running.

Hopefully have some good news shortly.

Pffffft

I don't know if I am making that sound because of who I am, what I do, my commitmentphobia....Speaking of which...This is one of the reasons that lured me into this lifestyle: I can have a "part-time" boyfriend that will spoil me and I do not have to pay for any of it! Ha, because I certainly can't afford much time or money :/ However! I am working towards my career goals at the moment and I won't lie, it has certainly been taking a lot out of me--physically, mentally and emotionally. I guess this was more of a vent....HOWEVER! I do have some more sugar news, as follows:

1) SD#1 said we will be getting together this weekend. SHOPPING!?

2) Meeting Pot. SD tomorrow

3) Date with a cute, successful man this week

4) Responded to Gift Daddy. To be honest, I did not bring up exclusivity & am being a hypocrite. Yep. Go me. We'll see how things go. . .

Life...

likes to throw you curveballs. I am keeping this short and vague. Due to some changes in my personal life, my sugarlife will have to come to a premature end if things do not work out with SD#1 & I. Although somewhat disappointing, this is reality and I really need to focus on the bigger picture. Hello 2010, I shall embrace you with open arms!

NSA

I can't help but feel that my ego is slightly bruised. I am not trying to be a hypocrite here, but I don't understand how someone can text me daily since meeting me, going out with me, and the day after taking me shopping...posts a new ad on Craigslist (I found this out through a friend).

Granted I guess we never made things official, which is fine, but how would you ladies feel? Meh, I don't know if I should even give a rat's ass but my health is at risk and that's rather important to me. If you do not have health, you have nothing. I guess we'll see what happens when SD#1 gets back in town; I sure do miss his company.

First Sugar Shopping Sprees!

The other day I went sugar shopping for the first time with my new gift daddy (SD#2). I met gift daddy through Craigslist! I have always been weary about meeting potentials off of there but I seemed to find a decent one, even if he isn't that rich, and when I say "that rich" I mean he's certainly not a millionaire like SD#1.

What I like about gift daddy is that w

e have some great chemistry, he's cute, and younger; so, if I ever run into anybody I know (like I actually did on the first date with him) no one would think it's odd--he's barely 10 years older than me.

On our second date he took me shop

ping. Now I've never been on a sugar shopping spree before and I'll tell you what, I failed you sugarbabies. Since I don't know his true networth, I was uncomfortable spending an obscene amount. I should have asked him what his budget was, then I think I would have felt more comfortable. I barely spent $100. Epic fail.

This shopping spree brought me back to my very first transaction with SD #1. "Transaction" sounds so cold but in reality, it pretty much i

s one. And when I mean "transaction" here, I am the one receiving thus far. Anyway, th

e first wad of cash I got spelled a whole wave of emotions--I felt bad, excited, weird, uncomfortable and even felt like shit all at the same time. I had a wonderful time

yet I am being paid. Hmm. The feeling did pass and I realized it's like getting a period for the first time. It's weird, uncomfortable, I feel like shit, but it's natural. With that said, and sorry for such a comparison but I'm on my period right now, lol, transactions are necessary and natural to such SD/SB relationships.

Anyway, gift daddy, aka SD#2, I think I will

keep around. I do enjoy his company, he of course pays for everything. Although he doesn't like to give straight cash (bummer) he certainly and blatantly said that I will be spoiled (yay!).

It's funny how things work. I was so against looking for another SD despite the fact my main one has been gone for 2 months! Holy

moly. Again, sometimes things just don't go as planned but that is not necessarily a bad thing! On a bright note with SD#1, he will be back in my city next week and he said that he owes

me shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I'm super excited to shop with SD#1 because he not only will enjoy it, but he is a millionaire. I mean shit, he likes Gucci so I certainly won't feel bad when I pick up my first pair of Jimmy Choos! :D

For Christmas I received...

Two sugardaddies! Yaya!

All I want for Christmas is to see my SugarDaddy

I decided against meeting up with Millionaire #2 again. You ladies are probably like "whhhhhat is this girl doing!". Although I know time is of the essence, I just feel too pressured meeting so many times in a short period of time for pot SDs that are from out of town. And of course I took the coward's way out and e-mailed him instead of calling him (and he called me out on this, oh well).

Maybe if I was 18 again I could move quicker like I used to. I suppose in the future I would have to find someone in my vicinity like my current one. Maybe the next step would be to freestyle it, but not until after I have tied up some threads with my current SD.

So there you have it. I probably won't be posting again until end of December or in the New Year. I wish you ladies all Happy holidays and Happy new year! And of course the best of luck with your sugar hunt.

All I want for Christmas is...my real SugarDaddy.

Millionaire #2: Sugar Rush

I went on a sugar date last night with Millionaire #2. I found out right before my date that he had contacted my friend who was on that site; nothing wrong with that, but I found out he is not as generous as my "current SD" (still in quotes as I have yet to solidify things with him). My friend said that he was rather sexual and was offering only 2K.

Although slightly put off, I went on the date. He was easy on the eyes, in his mid 40s and rather funny. He did not bring up sex and I did not bring up the allowance, although I sort of wanted to. Per my friend, she thinks he is somewhat desperate, but he said he wasn't, as I am not as well. After I said that, I realized now he certainly may not give me 4K. He did mention that "we should get me an Ipod". Hmm. He may be more of a gifts/trips daddy.

Now, I did have a pleasant time with him, dinner and drinks, but what I hate about pot SDs that do not live in my area....well things are rushed. I don't like to rush into things, although some sugar right now would be nice...hmmm

So, I guess my dilemma is...Can I be with him AND my "current SD"? Should I? Would I? Could I? Ugh. He would only want to meet 1-2 times per month, which is ok. My "current SD" gets back overseas third week of December. Now I know he trusts me and has to be still interested as I had asked for his mailing address and he gave it to me. I want to send him a small gift for Christmas. Also, I hope to see him then because it is near Christmas, but he may be with family....

Sooo what do you girls think, should I also have a second SD? My mind says yes, but could I really do it? (no pun intended lol). I would see him Sunday, and he wants me to bring him some patron, and well......take a guess, I know what he wants. Oh, and I have to call him today so I pretty much need to decided ASAP.

Man, no wonder why so many girls get burnt out fast!!!

Half Heart

I still do and want to believe...

but also trying not to be too foolish (or perhaps it's too late for that) but anyway, I am just seeing what else is out there. Casted a few new lines, so we will see. But like I said, I still have some faith in the current...

Ugh.

Hibernation Domination

Yes, yes I know you should not put all your eggs in one basket but we had a verbal agreement. My Sugardaddy recently launched several products so it is understandable why I have not seen him, since...oooh say almost two months now?

We still text although this week has been quieter than usual. I don't want to bug him, although I don't want to make him think I'm not interested. He did say it WAS okay to text him sooooooo, I guess I will shoot him a text tomorrow. Also to keep him interested, I e-mail him on occasion some of my lovely modeling photos, showing off my ASSets ;)

Anyway, I have been so busy with my life that I no longer obsess about Sugarlife, although it would be nice to seriously get the ball rolling. I have all these projects in mind but what is stopping me is the lack of sugar.

If I do not see him in December the latest, it is seriously time to move on. I just hope that I can start the new year with a big bang and lots of sugar.

Still Chillin' Part Deux

My SD ended up staying overseas for 2 weeks or so instead of his original 10 days. Hmm. And I went out a limb because I started getting extremely insecure so I had sent him a text (which turns out 2 days before he got back) asking him if he wanted some company in New York. When he got back he texted me [insart *Whew*].

Seeing as he is a wreck from all the traveling and time difference, I doubt I will be going. Honestly, that's okay because I am busy this week. I just want him to know that I am serious about this SD/SB thing. I'm not sure when he gets back but hopefully I will get to see him soon enough :)

That's all for now! Sorry, not very exciting! lol

Just chillin'

Let's see, nothing too exciting here in my sugarland. I have been helping my IRL sugarbaby friend find an SD by playing matchmaker. Hmm what else...I just sent my SD a short but sweet e-mail since I have not heard from him for over a week. I just sent him a funny Halloween joke and hoped that he was doing well. He better not forget about me!

Tick Tock

...still waiting patiently. I did have a dream last night with lots of sugary goodness so we shall see, we shall see.

I did send my SD some sexy glamor shots while he was away overseas so he wouldn't forget about me, hehe. He seemed to enjoy them. Although he was the one who said to keep an eye on my e-mail, I was to one to write him.

I figure, he's the busy one and I have nothing to lose. I've always been used to being the chasee in relationships so being 99.9% chaser in this one takes me out of my comfort zone. Now don't get me wrong, I have no problem making the first move, but being the main chaser is different. It's all good as long as I don't let my insecurities seep in.

I await patiently.




Who am I kidding!!!!!!!! This is certainly testing my patience! And I'd prefer to be chased. Haha oh well, a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do!